Review: TITANIQUE at The Criterion Theatre

Date: 22nd March 2025

Seat: Box D

Stars: 5

All aboard the HMS Titanique, where the iconic love story of Jack and Rose gets a riotous, rhinestone-studded reimagining—this time told through the unmistakable voice (and questionable facts) of one Céline Dion. Now docked at London’s Criterion Theatre, this cult off-Broadway hit has made its way across the Atlantic, promising big laughs, bigger vocals, and enough camp to capsize a cruise liner.

History? Never heard of her. In this delightfully deranged retelling, Céline Dion (played with glorious gusto by Lauren Drew) hijacks the narrative to share her version of what really happened aboard the Titanic. Spoiler: she was there. And apparently, so was Tina Turner. What follows is a gloriously unhinged mash-up of James Cameron’s 1997 film, Dion’s greatest hits, and a treasure trove of pop culture references that veer from absurd to inspired.

Lauren Drew is phenomenal as Céline, nailing the quirks and vocal flourishes with just the right balance of parody and powerhouse performance. She’s magnetic, hilarious, and—crucially—can really sing. Kat Ronney (Rose) and Rob Houchen (Jack) bring genuine heart to their absurd romance, while Layton Williams turns in a show-stealing appearance as a sassy, high-kicking iceberg. Yes, really. And it works.

Directed by Tye Blue, with a script co-written by Blue, Marla Mindelle, and Constantine Rousouli, Titanique knows exactly what it is: a high-camp fever dream with a karaoke soul. The staging is simple, but the performances are larger-than-life, and the use of Dion’s discography – from “All By Myself” to “My Heart Will Go On” – is both ridiculous and inspired. It’s chaotic, but beautifully controlled.

This kind of comedy won’t work for everyone. It’s loud, unfiltered, and completely unhinged, with humour that swings from genius to groan-worthy in the space of a single scene. But that’s also part of the charm. Titanique isn’t trying to be clever or cool – it’s trying to make you laugh until you cry, and sing until your voice cracks. If you’re after a polished, traditional musical, this probably isn’t your port of call. But if you’re up for silliness, sass, and Céline-led chaos? Then welcome aboard.

Titanique doesn’t just break the fourth wall—it blows it to smithereens with a glitter cannon. It’s knowingly ridiculous, joyously over-the-top, and packed with so much heart you might actually find yourself moved between the laughter. If you’re after a night of pure escapism, where Céline Dion is both narrator and inational treasure, this is your ship. Just don’t expect historical accuracy. Or dignity.

Titanique is currently playing at London’s Criterion Theatre until January 2026 – tickets are avaiable here: https://www.criterion-theatre.co.uk/titanique